Boy 1 & Boy 2 forever forgotten or forever at my feet

The other day I unblocked a former slave of mine on yahoo because I wanted to know if his girlfriend received the photos of him that I’d sent her, he said he didn’t know.. so I’m guessing she didn’t because if any woman saw those photos of her boyfriend she would confront him- so then he decided to spend the day speaking nonsense at me which I ignored. I finally told him if you want to talk you need to schedule time with me, I’m busy writing a paper for school, send giftcard/cash or you’re out of luck. The point of me saying that was to show him that I didn’t care about him, he meant nothing to me, and all I wanted was to use him for cash- so if he didn’t have any it wasn’t MY problem, it was HIS. He of course went on to say that he’s DONE with financial domination and he only reads my journal because he feels connected with me (hahahahaha). Back on ignore he went. We’ll call him boy one.

The other day a slave of mine decided it was too much when he didn’t obey me and I forwarded his emails he’d sent me from his work email address to corporate offices. He begged me to email them back and say I was just disgruntled because I didn’t get a job so I made the emails up. I decided to comply because I knew he’d be putty in my hands if I did, I had scared the shit out of him, and if I made him lose his job he wouldn’t really be able to serve me anymore. I took his cash, I made him buy me gifts, and then to buy his way out I made him pay for my 11 year old cats surgery. Don’t worry, my cat is OKAY now. He was really sick, and he is now hiding under my dresser (he just came home yesterday) and does not want to be messed with except cuddles from me. So anyway, this slave paid for the surgery, gave me the cash I wanted, bought me the gifts I wanted and I ‘let him go’ because he felt he had a greater responsibility to his family. He is one that struggles with a lot of guilt. We’ll call him boy two.

Yahoo IM- This is just bits and pieces from ONE conversation out of the almost two years I’ve known this person.

BOY ONE: You are the weakness i fight every day. You are the voice in my head that seduces me to slavery. You are the epitomy of arousal and cruel manipulation. i hurt for Your touch, Your abuse, Your mockery and scorn. i dream about You and i cannot stop lusting for You despite the destruction You have wrought

BOY ONE: i can think of no one more likely to toy with me and use me, and sadistically ruin me than You and i cannot stop myself begging

BOY ONE: i’ve served until i was broken completely and utterly
BOY ONE: now i am under Your spell and no escape, despite my ruin
BOY ONE: i fear i’m hopelessly addicted to this

goddess.posh: Do you need Goddess to twist your little brain up? hmm, do you?
BOY ONE: Yes i do… fuck
BOY ONE: i need it
BOY ONE: i hate that i need it…
BOY ONE: but God i need it…
BOY ONE: You are all that keeps me alive

BOY ONE: i cry at Your feet dying in my lack of original thought
BOY ONE: the words on my lips a familiar tune to Your diabolical dominance
BOY ONE: please….

EMAIL: Three separate emails just within the last TWO weeks!


i’m so hypnotized by You Goddess…my life would truly be nothing if

You were to not allow me to obey You.  You have complete control over my LIFE


Yes Goddess, i know that i’m completely out of Your league…i’m lucky You
even acknowledge me and i know it..i should have known that there is no
way i will ever be able to escape Your grasp and control over me. As You said
in Your entry, You pointed to the floor with me and i had no choice but to
kneel and remain at Your beautiful feet…ready to submit to Your
slightest whim.

Your obedient slave


Your journal entry describes me exactly; on my knees begging You to
allow me to obey Your orders.  I really have no other purpose in
life but to serve You.  Very well-written too..You have a way of
painting such a visual situation with Your words..that drives me
deeper into submission!

Now, do either of those boys really sound like they can stay away from me for long? They will both be back as always and I will be more than happy to drain their wallets when they do come slithering on their bellies to lay at my feet.

So to BOTH of you boys who think you can get away from financial domination, from Goddess Posh & from your proper place in life- I have another option for you, come crawling back and assume your place at my feet where I will take everything you’ve ever had and make it MINE or disappear into an empty life where you are forever forgotten by me. One where despair starts to eat you from the inside out as every day becomes harder to live, the days and nights will melt into one and time with leave you, all you’ll have is the memory of serving Goddess consuming every moment until you crumble from the weight of realizing what you lost.

To an outsider the choice is clear, but to you and I, we know the truth already. You don’t have a choice, you’re going to be back here in servitude because you’re an addicted and brainwashed puppet. There won’t be a choice for you after all.

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Under the Influence

Its so true. How it eats me up to confess it, to admit it. But its so true.

Under the Influence

its completely hopeless
completely fucking futile, please unblock me